Maybe it's my paranoid hormones, but I get the sinking feeling of "shadiness" going on.
I'm in no way shape or form a fan of that feeling. It breeds distrust.
It could be that I'm just overly worried, or it could be a gut feeling- that's the scary part.
The gut feeling one, ya know- the one that usually leads to me finding things I don't like.
So here I am, feeling like a psychopath, reading into every word...hoping that it's nothing and that I'm just imagining things.
Like the deleting texts from certain people, the late night facebook searches of females, craigslist and such.
Lord help me calm this sinking feeling, before I drown in it.
8.26.2010
8.20.2010
Two weeks to go!
Close but not close enough for my liking!!
With two weeks till our due date- things are coming together in the Gomez household.
Finally (legally) changed my last name, had the baby shower, started deep cleaning the house to prep for baby Jacob.... Still feels like there is tons to do, but we are a pretty laid back couple Mr M & I- so not really stressing over the small stuff. I think it's going to be a big help to us once Jacob finally decides to show.
LB (Joe) is flying in in 5 days- so it will be a little crowded in the house, mostly the bathroom... as I have to pee every 30 minutes, but we will make it work =)
Mr M has a cold, mostly from sitting in front of a fan every chance he gets- and he's had a post-nasal drip for over a month and refuses to see the Dr.
Oh how stubborn my husband can be- with that being said, I now have a bit of a cold as well.
Hopefully we feel better soon, this weekend is a going away party for one of our friends, as well as time that we need to finish up the guest room for LB & cleaning all of Jacobs things.
On an amazing side note- we had Jacobs shower, and despite the large number of guests that bailed last minute (including Jacobs Oma, though she DID have the flu...) we rolled with it and invited some of the boys last minute. It turned out SO much better than I had hoped.
The decorations were so damn cute, the food was awesome, the company was THE BEST a girl could ask for!
I felt so blessed to have such great family & friends there, and Jacob will be equally blessed to have these people in his life!
I am hoping to use some of Mr M's paternity time off to send out our thank-you notes, as we were given so many essential things for Jacob, including: His stroller & car seat combo, his Pack-n-play crib/bassinet, clothes & swaddlers, Blankets and crib set, (and my personal fave) a boppy & cover!
We still have a few things we need to get like bath items, more burp cloths and surely more diapers.... But with the major things out of the way, I feel prepared enough for him to show up any day now!
All in all, I'm a very happy woman.
With two weeks till our due date- things are coming together in the Gomez household.
Finally (legally) changed my last name, had the baby shower, started deep cleaning the house to prep for baby Jacob.... Still feels like there is tons to do, but we are a pretty laid back couple Mr M & I- so not really stressing over the small stuff. I think it's going to be a big help to us once Jacob finally decides to show.
LB (Joe) is flying in in 5 days- so it will be a little crowded in the house, mostly the bathroom... as I have to pee every 30 minutes, but we will make it work =)
Mr M has a cold, mostly from sitting in front of a fan every chance he gets- and he's had a post-nasal drip for over a month and refuses to see the Dr.
Oh how stubborn my husband can be- with that being said, I now have a bit of a cold as well.
Hopefully we feel better soon, this weekend is a going away party for one of our friends, as well as time that we need to finish up the guest room for LB & cleaning all of Jacobs things.
On an amazing side note- we had Jacobs shower, and despite the large number of guests that bailed last minute (including Jacobs Oma, though she DID have the flu...) we rolled with it and invited some of the boys last minute. It turned out SO much better than I had hoped.
The decorations were so damn cute, the food was awesome, the company was THE BEST a girl could ask for!
I felt so blessed to have such great family & friends there, and Jacob will be equally blessed to have these people in his life!
I am hoping to use some of Mr M's paternity time off to send out our thank-you notes, as we were given so many essential things for Jacob, including: His stroller & car seat combo, his Pack-n-play crib/bassinet, clothes & swaddlers, Blankets and crib set, (and my personal fave) a boppy & cover!
We still have a few things we need to get like bath items, more burp cloths and surely more diapers.... But with the major things out of the way, I feel prepared enough for him to show up any day now!
All in all, I'm a very happy woman.
8.11.2010
Asdfdghjkl....
Ughhhg.
I hate feeling like this- I'm just done. I really cant even muster the will to care at this point.
Which is a half truth, you don't cry if you don't care- so apparently I still care enough somewhere in this body of mine to have hurt feelings.
I'd just rather not at this point though. I have too much running through my head without constantly being let down over things that really matter at the end of the day.
Well at least they matter to me.
It feels petty and selfish, but in the end I sometimes need things too.
With Jacob almost here, I cant help wanting to hold onto "our" time, but unfortunately- "our" time isn't a priority when it can so easily be replaced by other people and events I am excluded from.
Lord make me a stone.
I hate feeling like this- I'm just done. I really cant even muster the will to care at this point.
Which is a half truth, you don't cry if you don't care- so apparently I still care enough somewhere in this body of mine to have hurt feelings.
I'd just rather not at this point though. I have too much running through my head without constantly being let down over things that really matter at the end of the day.
Well at least they matter to me.
It feels petty and selfish, but in the end I sometimes need things too.
With Jacob almost here, I cant help wanting to hold onto "our" time, but unfortunately- "our" time isn't a priority when it can so easily be replaced by other people and events I am excluded from.
Lord make me a stone.
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