Busy Momma.

Very little me time of late- not even enough to get a blog post out when I'd like.
The lives of Mr M, guppy and I have been a revolving door of work and child care, errands and chores, and the ever consuming commute to and from the previously stated obligations.

While this is profitable, it leaves very little (aka NO) time for us to all just relax and be a happy little family-
A problem that should be reminded in a couple of weeks when Rodeo is finished (the kind with planes, not horses and bulls) and my new co-worker is able to have her training wheels taken off (is given her store key).

With all of that crazy going on, I still need to find some time to (budget) and plan guppy's FIRST birthday!!!
It's amazing how fast this last year has gone by, and all of the changes that have happened!

And though this year has had it's ups and downs, I can say without a doubt- I have never been more in love with my husband, had a stronger marriage, been a more grateful and blessed mother, or a happier woman all round.


Thank you lord, you leave me humbled by your blessings once more.

Been along time!

Once again life seems to have taken precedence over blogging! Not that I really mind that!
Summer has taken the PNW, and with my sisters wedding just a couple weeks away- (oh & did I mention I also picked up a job along the way?) blogging is one of the last things on my mind.

I'm sure once in a while (like now) I'll jump on for a quick up date. But while the sun is out, or guppy has adventures to have, we have places to go or any number of amazing things to do- I'll be as far away from my keyboard as possible =)

& for all you hardcore blogger's out there who are shaking your head in disgust: I suggest you take a long walk outside with someone you love. Life's too short to waste away in seclusion!!

If I wanted to see a monkey, I'd go to the Zoo.

Is THIS your baby?

You. Yes, you- the parent ignoring their banshee of a child? Yeah, you might not be phased by your child acting like an asshole, but everyone else is.

I get it- he/she is tired, missed a nap, hungry, not feeling well, generally loud, hates the world today for no reason, hates you today (possibly for good reason, & now, so do I), wants a toy/candy/soda, wants a pony etc... Still not mine, or anyone else in the mall/store/public 's problem.

Having a small child (who acts like a diva on occasion) I have been there. Twice.
No joke, the first week he was home we ventured out and he cried non-stop. We LEFT & went straight home.
The second time, he was 5mos old and was sick (& therefore cranky) but I needed to run errands. I took him home the minute he started to loose it.

Why? Because no one (& I mean NO ONE) should have to be subject to my child's melt down.
Is it easy? Not all the time, life does not revolve around making my child happy 24/7 & errands/shopping/work has to get done at some point.
But as a parent you know better. Kids have schedules, you know the things that will push their little buttons & sometimes a meltdown is unavoidable.

But the minute you decide that you'll "ignore" them and go about whatever you are doing, it more or less becomes a habit.
We all know someone, maybe it's you, that seems to be a walking zoo. Kid(s) screaming, throwing a tantrum or just acting out ALL THE TIME. It becomes expected that world war 3 will happen if they bring their child to any event.

You know that look everyone is giving them/you? It's not really pity, it's annoyance. You have chosen to make everyone else's day suck for the time you and your child decide to be a pain in the ass.
Please make sure to acknowledge those looks once in a while, because they should make you feel like the ass you are.

(here is where I should note: a parent of a child with social, mental or physical disabilities- I AM NOT talking about you!, Under no circumstance are a brat child & a child who truly cannot help them selves the same. I cant tell you how many times I see the same looks being given to special needs children having a hard day, as that of a child that is acting out because he/she chooses to. I have pure and complete respect for parents of special needs children, they are amazing people in my book!)

Being a parent is one of the hardest tasks a person will ever undertake. Actively molding the life of a child is important, but it more important to do it well. Giving in to the idea that "other people can just deal" with how your child acts is ludicrous- Your child learns from YOU. So when I say "that kid is acting like an asshole", I really mean "that parent is a totally asshole, and a shitty role model for that poor kid".

Talk it out.

Amazing how the simple act of purging your thoughts out loud can save your soul.

When silence becomes deafening in your own ears, the only possible action is to vocalize or lose everything you've been holding onto.


Every relationship that has ever failed, has begun with the fear that speaking is worse than silence.
And after the afore mentioned relationship is over, everyone admits that the lack of communication is what felled their once loving dialogue.

Believe me when I say that as much as you think it will hurt to speak the truth, living a lie is much worse.


Lord, thank you for blessing me with a loving husband.

Easter.

Sunday marks the end of Lent. The resurrection of our Lord.
I LOVE Easter. The Catholic in me pines for my yearly fast, it's freeing to abstain from things that were never good for us in the first place.

Easter in most households is usually marked by candy filled baskets for the children, possibly Easter mass, and a large meal consisting of a glazed ham.

While I enjoy that, it seems quite empty to only eat scripture on holidays. And while guppy has a basket with a big Ol' chocolate bunny waiting for Sunday morning, I yearn for the day when he is old enough to bring to church without him acting out. (Lets face it, most adults have trouble staying focused during a mass- let alone a 8mo old.)

I've invited my sister & brother-in-law over for a brunch. Mr. M has to work the grave yard shift that night, so he can only stay up to about 1pm. This allows all of us to have a small get together without taking up every ones full day.
Brunch will be hand made, homemade dishes. Peppered pork loin, cheesey AuGratin red potatoes, sauteed asparagus, Lion head manor yeast rolls, and Grape nut pudding with nutmeg whipped cream.
Simple and made with love.

I plan on spending the rest of this week preparing for Easter- lots of quite time, pumping up my fasting for the three days before Sunday, speaking softly and without malice. Sounds easy? Not so- but well worth it.

Ok Lord, I'm listening.

Summer Lovin.

This week has been absolutely beautiful out! The sun is shining, weather has been clear, and it's starting to warm up even!! Spring is here, at least for about a week- then it's hit or miss.

Tomorrow is Mr. M's first day off, his "Sat". It will be nice to spend some time with my hubby & son.
I plan on heading out to the waterfront for a nice walk in the sunshine, followed by a cupcake at Tacoma's Hello Cupcakes. Then I think homemade pizza will be a nice finish to a calm day of family time.


Monday is my appointment to try on bridesmaid dress styles for my sisters wedding. Though I'm getting back in shape (finally), I've never looked as good as I would like to in dresses. Needless to say, I just want to get this over with. I also have the feeling I will start 2-a-days on my workouts on Monday, as well as figuring out a tanning schedule so I'm not a fat pasty white Maid of Honor in our family photos.

Lord, Thank you for life's blessings.

The price of growing up.

Some days I'm absolutely gob-smacked by the words that come out of peoples mouths.

More so when it comes from the mouth of a friend.

As I come closer to my 26th birthday, I realize how many people I would love to stay friends with, but feel I might have out grown.

I enjoy how my life has evolved. The trials I have endured, the bad situations I've put my self in and some how made it through a wiser woman- they all have contributed to the way I choose to live my life now. I feel a sense of pride when I look at my husband and son, the home we've built as a family and the choices we make daily to ensure the happy and healthy longevity of said family.

But somewhere along the line, I moved in leaps and bounds ahead some of my best friends.

They don't seem to understand why I cant come out drinking with them, or get a tattoo on a whim as I have done in the past. I don't have time to listen to how they are having problems with their parents (because they live at home STILL), I have a child to feed, and dinner to get on the table.

They don't understand why they cant crash on my couch anymore, or why I wont let them stay in our guest room rent free for a "few months".

They wonder why I've "changed so much" and why I'm so "down on their ideas".

It's hard to explain to a person that refuses to hold a job, that my husbands job & the military life comes first.

It's hard to tell them that their "ideas" are great, when they are trying to get you to co-sign their student loans because they've trashed their credit.

It's hard not to roll my eyes when they try to "educate" me on "the government" and how my "husband will die" if he deploys.

I love how they call me "domestic", as if they think it insults me somehow. Last time I checked, I have a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, gas in my car, and insurance on me and everything I own.

Trying to say my life is somehow worse than theirs is laughable, when about 2% of my civilian friends can say the same.

As I come to this crossroads more and more with my longtime friends, I am more and more ready to move on to developing my relationships with people of the same mindset & morals as me.

As much as someone would like, you cant stay a young dumb kid forever, though you can grow up to be a irresponsible dumb adult.

I always tell my husband, "a man is judged by the company he keeps", guess I should listen to my own advice a little more. The time for purging of people and things that add nothing to my life and only wish to take is drawing closer.

Lord make me a stone so that I may stand strong against those that would do me harm.

Shut-down.

Today is full of hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst.

In less than ten hours, all military personnel's paychecks could be furl lowed until a fiscal budget can be decided on in congress.

I know for my family, Mr. M's paycheck is our sole means of survival. This is a reality that military families have not dealt with since 1995.

Most young military families live 'pay-check to pay-check', leaving little room for a lager savings that would be a buffer in these times of delayed pay.

Regardless of how the next few days go, Mr. M & I plan on re-working our finances to allow for quicker debt pay off, more money to be put in savings, and smarter spending over-all to prevent any worry should this become an issue come September.

Lord help the little people, for the kings sit on high and squabble while we toil in the dirt.

Day to day grind.

Life is and has been pretty relaxed as of late.
Guppy is growing entirely too fast for my taste.
Mr. M has been getting back into the daily life of work, home and the occasional time to play.
I've been busy cooking, baking, cleaning and getting out of "single mom mode".

I have to say, I couldn't be happier with the daily workings in the Gomez house.
Since I have been (borderline obsessively) in the kitchen working on new recipes, I have decided to add a food blog to document these culinary adventures.

I'm excited to see where this all ends up, but the best part of having an adventure is the journey- not the destination =)

Doin Big Things.

Big day indeed!
Well big week for that matter.

Guppy not only cut his first TWO teeth this week, but today he decided to CRAWL!!!
Lucky for me, I happened to be recording him with my camera when he decided to make him big move!
Then it was on.
I spent the next hour moving things he loves to touch ( his diaper wipes, and his toy truck) waaaay out of reach.
And sure enough, Guppy would crawl right to them!

This is a pretty big deal, seeing as he's not even 7 mos old yet =)
I couldn't be more proud of my little man.


So, since Mr M has to work tonight, I decided to fix a celebratory dinner for us to mark the occasion.
We are having:

Slow Roasted Pepper corn crusted Pork Loin with caramelized yellow onion hearts
Creamy Red Potato Mash with Homemade roasted vegetable gravy
Lightly sauteed broccoli rabb with garlic
and buttermilk biscuits.

I'm pretty impressed with myself for this one.

"cake pops".

First off I have to say, Gross. As in, these taste like regurgitated sugar vomit and cake crumbs.

I had no idea these had such a following. Nay, a year ago I had no clue what they even were!
I had the great misfortune of trying them at a friends baby shower. I barely choked down the one I ventured to try, as the mother-in-law had 'made them herself' and proclaimed I MUST try them.
Gag.

Now that wasn't the end of that experience, the woman then explained in great detail how said 'Cake Pops' were made.
This (mind you) is the recipe EVERYONE follows, home cook & professional baker alike.

Cake pops:

Bake a boxed cake, any flavor, in a 13x9 pan.
Cool completely, then mix till a fine crumble.
Mix in 1 can, again- any flavor, ready made frosting.
Combine and mix till the consistency of play-doh
Shape into melon ball size spheres, or desired shape, and chill.
Thoroughly melt almond bark/candy melts in bowl
Coat cake balls, add a pop stick, decorate, cool then serve.


OMFGIWTTU!!!!!
First off, a freaking box cake?!? Then to make it worse, frosting MIXED in?!?!
Sounds good to most people, but the consistency is (as I would imagine, and I do) of baby poop.
Sugary, sugary baby poop. But don't forget the candy coating & sprinkles on top.

Ughhhg.

Now that I've said all that, I come to this. The decorations are cute. now mind you this creates a dilemma for me.
No way in HELL am I going to use that recipe, EVER.
But ,my mind is now filled with ideas for variations to bring similar results.
IE: home made cake, frosting and or a filling that will mix to make a form able material.
Though I have serious reservations on the texture, I feel like it would be better with less "frosting" leaving a more "cake" like texture.

Now if only I had access to liquid nitrogen.....hmmmm.

Here we go, again.

Another deployment. Another argument on things that I thought were clear.

Maybe I'm past all the hard-core needing to "go out" phase, or maybe I expect too much of others in that regard.
Either way, I can never understand how I become the bad guy for wanting people to hold up to
their end of whatever we have planned.

"I'll call you tonight" doesn't mean 'whenever I'm done at the bar". At least not to me.

It's no fun. Specifically, feeling like the afterthought every time Mr M goes on mission sucks.
It's a break from life that only HE gets.
Drinking, partying and being carefree is not on the agenda back home. Ever.
And while he's out having fun, I'm worrying if Guppy has slept enough, about the upcoming DRs appointments to attend and when I might get my next shower.
I live a single parents life without the break of an actual job, and without the break of "personal time". Life is life, and for me there is no "vacation".

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom. Nothing makes me happier than spending time with my child.
But while my husband claims that jealously is my motivation for not wanting him to drink and carry on so much- the fact is I need a partner that I feel is as committed to this new life as I am. We are no longer 'Kids' able to do as we like without consequence of our actions. Nor is it a pass just because one is not "home". I need to be shown that my trust doesn't just end at " I know you won't cheat".

Taking a mission to "get away" brings no sympathy when you tell me you fear being forgotten.
It feels like a cop out, you chose to leave, you needed to get away.
Telling me that this is a "lifestyle" and part of the job?
I call bull shit, there are plenty of men who have left that life behind for love of family.
What is worse, is that don't expect complete change, only to cut back on such stupidity.
And yes, treating "going out" like a priority in life is stupidity.


Having been though too much already in this life has made me unwavering on my morals.
It's a hard standard to hold most Military men to, but I expect and need someone who shares in the values I hold dear.
And not just for show.
Because a persons character is vital more than ever in raising a child. It's important to me.
I never want to put my child's wants and needs second to living like "I" want.
More so, I never want to have to explain to my son that he comes secondary to "having a good time", because I wasn't ready to grow up. To me, that isn't an option. To others it is.

I'm not sure where this all ends. I fear this year will be full of disappointment on this subject, bringing with it uncertainty. I fear this will become too constant of a struggle in our lives.
Never have I felt like such an island, adrift in a sea full of selfish people who happen to have children.
I fear most of all, that I stand alone in my own home.

Lord let me be stone.

Better than Betty.

Been keeping busy cooking and baking lately.
Red Velvet cake, Banana breads, Pound cakes and looking for new recipies to try.
Tonight I'm making Ettouffee with rice, and a red velvet cake for dessert.
Also have chilli in the slowcooker for the BiL so he will have something to warm up until my sister gets home.

Only a few more days until Mr M. goes on his next TDY and though I'm going to miss him, it's good for him to get away and have some down time.

Looking out the window, it's snowing at the moment... Better get my butt going, still need to make a last minute run to Safeway to grab celery (which I forgot to get this morning). Lame, this snow needs to MELT!!

Single momdom

Havent had much time to post, been very busy with Mr M's deployment, his return, & now his new deployment coming up soon.
So a quick review.

Tony & Joe are gone!
House to ourselves.
Love it.
Guppy is huge,
trying to crawl,
a joyful pain in the butt!
Mr M is tan,
amazing,
and still the love of my life.
I am getting better at multitasking,
bargan shopping,
and typing with one hand.

Live, Life, Love. Indeed =)